Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 11 March 2012

image for Beware the Ides of March Cameron told
Daft tosspot could be yesterday's news by Mothers Day next Sunday

London - Punch-drunk at the promise of a USAF Scare Force One mile high ride with President Obama this week PM David Cameron is laughing off daft backbench rumors of a plot 'to oust him this Thursday'.

The day coincides with the Ides of March - a traditional dumping moment for mendacious dictators and peddlers of humbug hiding behind spurious probes like the Leveson Inquiry into Rebekah Brooks' whorsing about.

Instead Big Dave's got a spring in his step as he finishes packing his best bib and tucker ahead of being feted at a star-studded glittering White House state dinner complete with media saturation of 'special relationship' bollox.

Cameron and his Italian gangsta's daughter spouse Samantha will be seated close to special guest President George Bush Senior, grandfather of both President Obama and Prime Monster Cameron and father of the late Diana, Princess of Wales.

The following day Mrs Cameron and First Lady Michelle Obama will entertain some British schoolkids last seen rioting and looting on UK TV during last summer's urban clashes in London.

"It's our way of saying Thank You!" an aide to Mrs O joked as final choreography touches were being rehearsed for the carefully staged US-UK cringefest.

Meanwhile the Tory Backbenchers' famous 1922 Committee has convened in secret with NewsCorpse hacking probe cops in a bid to nail down the gist of the deception.

"There's no bloody conspiracy to dump the PM," spokesperson Sir Rottweiler Gubbins commented at lunchtime.

"Wanna see nude pix of Samantha Cameron riding bareback at the Cheltenham Festival?"

Er, probably not.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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