London - A moneylaundering cabal of bent lawyers, accountants, royal arse wipers and members of Mrs Thatcher's organised crime syndicates has been bankrolling this fetid interloper according to weekend broadsheet reports.
Daft Mr Gingernuts as he is known by his Royal Protection Racket minders has already clocked up a Wapping - er...whopping! - security bill of over £100,000 on the latest leg of a highly spurious diamond jubilee tour of the Caribbean and South America.
His Italian gangsta father and porky-faced cretin 'wise woman' mother are said to be cock-a-hoop over the 25 year deception that started when Prince Charles topped Diana's sons and buried them in Highgrove's organic composting bins.
Every UK government since has gone along with the moronic deception after MoD top brass rewrote the nation's 'Rule Britannia' anthem lyrics to 'Rule Britannia! Britannia Waives The Rules!/Britons Ever Ever Ever Shall Be Fools'.
However behind the scenes the reality is far more grim amid MI6 reports that harry is fomenting terror and angling after a slice of the lucrative Ecuadorean scam to steal $18 billion from US super major Chevron.
This weekend's trip to Brazil has been shadowed by UK Special Branch who apparently busted open this leg of the international heist 'sometime back in 2005'.
Kate Middleton remains the nation's No 1 Mutton-Dressed-As-Lamb contender and is after 1% of the Ecuador booty.
Fat chance, eh?