Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Friday, 9 March 2012

image for Naked WI Girls - At Her Majesty's Pleasure!
Molly "Nuggets" Pugh - Miss April.

The latest batch of Women's Institute members planning to get their kit off for charity are a little bit different from the usual set...

... they're all convicts!

So far the 40 WI girls at Bronzefield Prison, Surrey, have learned about baking and flower arranging and have staged a coffee morning for ladies from nearby genteel Virginia Water.

But now they want to take a leaf out of some of their colleagues' books and pose for a charity calendar.

Said group spokeswoman, Betty "Biceps" Lazenby: "Well we watched that film Calendar Girls the other day, didn't we, and little Diamond Liz said we should do that, an' all, and the other girls were like, yeah, so we talked to the guv'nor and she said we could do what we wanted."

Betty added that the poses would replicate typical prison activities: "Jackie The Smash will be June and she'll be posed - all tasteful like - kicking seven bells out of a screw.

"A couple of the gels will cover their modesty with playing cards in a clandestine game of three-card brag for November, and there will be a tasteful 'lookout' scene wiv a couple of us 'leaning on' a 'snitch.' We've got the whole year covered."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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