Gasp! Shock! Horror! Are the sounds that Back and to the Left news were making today as the world famous "Mud Mania" in Shropshire ran out of mud for the first time in it's history.
The event began 104 years by a Mr P.J Duncan, as an excuse to throw mud at the counties Irish immigrant population. It has never courted such controversy in it's long and colourful past. Current organiser Mr E. Seventeen issued this statement:
"Despite the extensive efforts of the events staff "Mud Mania" has in fact ran out of mud. We apologise for the curtailing of this year's event, but we will be back next year with extra reserves of mud to prevent repetition in the future."
Although the apology was welcomed, it remained that many spectators and competitors who had turned up for the spectacle were visibly upset. Mrs Edna Appleby said:
"I have been coming to Mud Mania for 75 years without fail. It's the highlight of my year, never before have I been so disappointed. My grandkids never visit me and my heating's off; Mud Mania is my rock. Now it's gone."
Professional mud-slinger Herman Verdan added:
"I travel from Bavaria to compete at Mud Mania, and now this! Weaknesses like these are never tolerated in my country."
Back and to the Left stood by as hastily erected stalls were packed away and revellers left the scene. And as the sun sank below a mudless horizon we wondered; was this another example of the effect of "Broken Briton"? The worlds current financial crisis? Or immigrants?
It was probably immigrants. Then again it was opinions such as these, that got us the lovely day out in court.
For more information on Mud Mania go to www.ifuckinglovemud.web.uk