Written by Joe Leff
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Topics: Candy, crash, lorry

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Hundreds of thousands of tiny sweets disappeared down a road-side drain when a confectionery lorry skidded and overturned yesterday.

Driver Nigel Goodie escaped with only minor injuries. "But I had about half-a-ton of 'Hundreds-and-Thousands' on board, and loads of them went down the drain."

Due to his company's strict stock control accounts and procedures, Mr. Goodie will have to spend his recovery days counting all the remaining 'Hundreds-and-Thousands'.

The Little Sweets (LS) confectionery company is considering stopping the production of these very tiny sweets - which were originally designed to decorate cakes. "We are probably going to increase the size and call them 'Ones-and-Twos'. Big enough to crunch and much easier to count."

Local sweet shops welcome this move. "For years we've been having to serve kids with these tiny sweets," said Betty Sweetuth, of Helmsley's Kiddies' Corner. "Usually, they want a 'handful' -and then we get arguments about the price. Sometimes they would ask for '28' or '17' - or 'just five blue ones'. It's been driving us mad."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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