Written by queen mudder

Print this

Monday, 5 March 2012

image for Kate Middleton's eggs frozen
Oeufs-en-cocotte surely better than Eggs Benedict named after the Pope

London - The 'Sunni (sick) side up' logo has been stamped all over daft Queen Consort wannabe Kate Middleton's donated ova at a non-Shia egg bank in Upper Harley Street.

William and his self-publicising missus were spotted last weekend outside the seedy London W.1. backstreet contortionists which has eggstracted and deep frozen her double yolkers until Palm Sunday, April 1st this year.

That's the traditional day for sperm banks to manually retrieve uncooperative House of Windsor sperm ahead of astrologically-aligned fertilization on Easter Sunday.

Storage facilities inspected by QM-NewsCorpse sauces said everyone at Dr D'Eath's fertility clinic appears overjoyed at the oeuf-en-cocotte** recipe which will be implanted into a surrogate Easter Bunnygirl for a reported fee of one hundred grand.

Any spares will then be matched to donated spunk from various RIP VIP Global Piss Process dictators such as Saddam, Osama, Muammar and (fingers crossed!) Vladimir.

The chances of incubating and giving birth to a wrongly matched fetus and declaring it Next In Line to The Throne are, of course, 1,000 to 1.

Besides, it's simply wrong to assume that all RIP VIP sperm has been sauced to Iran's President Ahmadinejad following a mix-up in the top-shelf division at the UN Human Fartilization Authority HQ.

They're just going to have to face the music...and dunce.

*Cocotte: French chicken, prostitute, feminine diminutive of coq, cock, from Old French, see old cock, etc

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 plus 4?

9 6 12 7
46 readers are online right now!

Go to top