The Daily Mail romped home with today's Piffle Prize for puerile and mundane reporting with a headline that is quite simply too mind numbingly dull to repeat in its entirety in the pages of this steamed organ.
The bollockingly brilliant and irrepressable DM reported that Lady G had gone out somewhere wearing only a black brassiere underneath her jacket, and broke the stunning news that the pop Princess looked 'curvier' than usual.
Prompting one outraged DM reader to comment on the DM website:
"She is disgusting."
Nothing new there then.
Romping home for second place was the ever dependable Burnley Express, which reported: "Padiham's Star Studded Charity Night"
Further reading reveals that the "stars" in question, were actually, Radio 2's Nigel Ogden, and 13 year old singing sensation Grace O'Malley.
Star studded indeed.
The Sun managed to sneak third place, with "Nicola McLean: My Bulimia Is Back Because Of Denise Welch"
It appears that the two clashed on car-crash TV offering, Celebrity Big Brother, and that McLean got so upset by the entire dirty business that she went back to the bad old ways of chucking her grub up.
As nobody at Skoob News actually watches Celebrity Big Brother, we couldn't possibly pass judgement on the veracity of the story, but it does seem a little odd that Ms McLean - whoever she is - should blame Denise Welch for that fact that she can't keep her grub down.
Maybe she's considering suing Welch. Who knows? Who cares?
An honourable mention also goes again to The Sun for the startling revelation: "Katie Price reunites with ex Dane Bowers to record an album"
We've sent an internal memo to Skoob Entertainment News supremo, Buffty Ginslinger, imploring him to download this seemingly amazing chunk of musical history in the making, and writing a review on SEN.
Meanwhile, the carnage goes on as the shells continue to rain down in Homs...
More as we get it.