Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 29 February 2012

image for Irish Post Nipple Count Set To Rise Under New Editor
Destined for the Irish Post.

UK Irish newspaper the Irish Post is set for a startling overhaul following the appointment of a new editor.

Murray Morse is the new man at the helm of the popular weekly, which provides news from home and abroad for the Irish community in the UK.

Morse was formerly editor of Daily Sport and the Sunday Sport, famous for their high nipple counts, up-skirt shots and in-depth interviews with women about their sexual preferences.

A spokesman for the Post said: "These are exciting times for the paper and we are sure our readers are looking forward to the future. There just are not enough bosoms or nipples in the Post and we are keen to catch up with twenty-first century news production.

"Under Murray, we can look forward to seeing photos of pretty young Colleens' scantily clad, bent-over arses on the front page.

"Inside, pictures of topless Irish dancing and Guinness supping are exciting innovations. We will also be sponsoring a topless St Patrick's Day Parade."

Expect the Irish World to respond within weeks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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