Written by j.w.
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Topics: Andrew Lansley

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

image for Lansley's Publicity Stunt Backfires
Lansley Cornered by a Person

Andrew Lansley, Unhealthy Minister, made a hash of his most recent publicity. Seeing a demonstration outside the Ministry of Health he decided to have a friendly chat with an old lady who 'wouldn't hurt a fly'.

'How are you , my dear?' he asked.

'Fucking awful because I've met you' she replied.

TV cameras caught this exchange so Lansley told the member of the public to 'go and jump over her arse.'

'Typical' she replied 'privatising my arse when you said it was safe in your hands!'

Lansley had to get away from this cosy repartee so he signalled to his aides that he wanted to move on. But his way was blocked by those suggesting he was destroying the health service.

'What do you expect from an Unhealthy Minister?' he explained to a banner waving student.

Lansley was pleased to retreat to the House of Commons but found things were worse there. Tory back benchers had arranged a noose to fit neatly over his head.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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