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Monday, 20 February 2012

image for Media company apologises after Nazi van naming gaffe
A non- Nazi van yesterday

Red-faced Maiden Media have apologised after it emerged that they inadvertently named one of their fleet of technician's vans after a world war two Dutch Nazi.

The vans cheekily bearing the name of famous stars of film, TV and music with 'Van' either in their names or sounding a bit like their names such as VAN Morrison, Lee VAN Cleef or Marlon VANdo, have been in use since the start of the year, but the mistake in naming one of their vans 'Cornelis VAN GeelkerkenIn' after the Dutch National Socialist leader and collaborator was only brought to Maiden's attention earlier this week when a Dutch tourist spotted the van near Westminster Abbey.

The tourist; 24 year old Janet Hoegaarden, said she was puzzled why a British company had chosen to label up its vans with the names of WW2 war-criminals, telling us in that strangely accented English the Dutch use: " I had to do a double take when I shaw the name on the van, ash a member of the resishtance my great uncle wash murdered by Van GeelkerkenIn's regime. I thought ish it a joke? Becaushe if it ish Im not laughing here."

Van GeelkerkenIn, one of the founders of the Dutch Nazi party, was a key player in collaborating with the Nazis after the German invasion of the Netherlands in 1940 and was instrumental in the rounding up of the country's 154,000 Jews. Speaking at a hastily convened press conference current face of Maiden Media; Olympic 100 metre champion Usain Bolt-who is contractually obliged to pretend to be Richard Branson until August, apologised for the error.
'Yeah I am Richard Branston" said an awkward looking Bolt sporting a fake blonde beard "and I would like to apologise profusely for this incident and for the offense it has caused. I can assure our customers that it is not our policy to name our vans after Nazis."

When pressed by reporters as to exactly how the mistake came to be made Bolt told us that the mistake was an 'error made by an intern in the marketing department' adding that the intern had been asked to find suitable names for the vans, as they had begun to run out of the obvious ones, and had got the name from a Wikipedia article.

Bolt accepted that the name should have been properly checked and that most at Maiden thought that Van GeelkerkenIn was a 'Dutch film director or something'. The real Maiden Chairman Richard Branson then appeared from behind some curtains grinning and waving like a twat to join a visibly embarrassed Bolt for photos doing that pointy 'To Di World' pose he does.

The gaffe isn't the 1st time a company has used a controversial name for one of its vehicles. In 2002 Eddie Stobart caused a storm after accidentally naming one of its lorries 'Pierre Laval' after the traitorous WW2 anti-Semite Vichy French politician.

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