Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Dorking, Shooting

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

image for Dorking pheasantry scandal
They'll probably get eaten by foxes or die of boredom

Dorking, Surrey - "They'd never have dared to boot us out if the Old King was still alive!" was the defiant war cry of Squire Norris of the Polesden Lacey Pheasant Shooting Syndicate upon eviction from the grace and favor terroir.

His 100 fellow members were said today to have 'really got the grouse' after National Truss jobsworths turned down the renewal of the club's hunting lease.

Forty years of rampaging avian bloodsports have now come to an end in the marvellous game bird habitats of Great Bookham, the 'garden of Eden' surrounding Polesden Lacey Manor House.

A National Truss makeover of the ancient edifice has seen the systematic expunging of the hunting club's seasonal carnage rights.

Instead the club has been offered the use of an estate barn to hold its monthly 'seances' - accessible for members who successfully pass through an airport-style metal/weapons detector without the bleeper going off.

"Bugger that!" Squire Norris bellowed as he bid farewell to the last of his feathered prey in Lacey Coppice after one last sneaky pot-shot into some bushes.

The Manor House will reopen to the public on April 1st.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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