Scenes at the Bafta award ceremony resembled 'the worst examples of footballing outrage' as George Clooney, who was turned down for 7 awards (beating a previous 4 failures to win acclaim) refused to shake hands with the French star of the winning film 'The Artist' Jean Dujardin.
This outrage seen by millions of Television viewers in complete silence was a shock. 'It's British for the loser to shake hands with the winner' explained a fluttery Fly - master of ceremonies - 'In the year of the Diamond Jubilee and the Olympic Games we cannot allow American Cloons to upset the silent garden!'
Meryl Strip, unusually wearing clothes, who was unveiled as 'the best Margaret Thatcher impersonation', said she was 'shocked by Cloons behaviour'. Others felt it was the worst horror film they had ever seen.
Fluttering Fly attempted to hold the reins of the Baftas and claimed 'everything was beautiful in the jardin' - cleverly using a French word to de-fuse a dangerous situation.
Other French words were used by several of those attending the ceremony but are too sacre bleu for the tender hearted readers of le Spoof. The French tabloid 'Le Soleil' could not comment due to a bad phone line.