Yorkshireman, Ken Mither, of Cleckhuddersfax was left livid Sunday afternoon, following an unfortunate oversight on the part of bolshy wife, Jessie, which resulted in his Sunday roast duck gravy being cremated beyond all recognition, as a result of an act of subterfuge by his granddaughter, a Cockney from Hackney, E9.
Mither complained that Jessie had been disturbed in the course of her culinary duties, by a phone call, and that whilst yacking away with her chatterbox Cockernee grandchild about baking, the gravy had got burnt.
Militant 'Chips n Gravy' activist, Mither, recoiled in horror as the stench of burning gravy emanated from the kitchen, rapidly contaminating the neighbourhood.
Leaving Mither facing a dinner of roast duck - without proper gravy!
"I puts it dahn ter sabotage, mi sen," Mither grumbled. "I'm damned well sure they does it o purpose. T' granddaughter's a reet grand lass an all that, but she's a Cockney - and they don't unnerstan abaht th'importance o gravy dahn yon London, so I reckon she rings at t wrong times just ter lob a bloody spanner i'th' works. Anyroad, t gravy's reet proper bolloxed nah. I shall 'ave ter 'ave me soddin dinner baht soddin' gravy. It's a travesty I tell thee. A bloody travesty. It's a bloody good job we int 'avin' chips. I'd be even more gutted then. Like. And that."
More gravy related gollocks and gottles o geer as we bet it.