Written by The Incredible Sulk
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Topics: Diamond Jubilee

Monday, 6 February 2012

image for German Pensioner Celebrates 60 Years of Scrounging Off UK Taxpayers
LIZ: BENEFIT FRAUDSTER

A woman of German descent today celebrates 60 years of living off the taxpayer, claiming it has been her right as 'Queen' of England.

Mrs Elizabeth Windsor of Westminster has apparently also been paid for the upkeep of multiple properties throughout the UK and has taken numerous foreign holidays each year over this sixty-year period. Most recently, she was even considering putting in a claim for a new pleasure boat and has, apparently, shamelessly allowed associates to plan an enormous party - to take place this summer - to celebrate the anniversary her monumental work avoidance.

Her family, who originally moved to England in the 19th Century, have also mostly all been work shy since arriving in Britain, with only a few of the male members doing a few years in the UK Armed Services.

A representative for the family was unwilling to comment and this reporter, despite his plea that it was paid for by the public, was asked to 'put down that gnome and get off our land'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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