Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Sunday, 5 February 2012

image for Elton John Falls Foul Of Self-Appointed Pop Watchdog
Has Elton ever been an astronaut?

Megastar Elton John is the latest chart-busting singer to fall foul of a West Yorkshire man who monitors the veracity of pop lyrics.

Mr Graeme Literal-Gitt, of Horbury, near Wakefield, has already taken Paul Simon to court over the alleged inaccuracy of his lyrics to 50 Ways To leave Your Lover, Cecelia and The Only Living Boy In New York.

He followed this action with a case against Rod Stewart for the Maggie May singer's assertion that An Old Raincoat Will Never Let You Down.

Now Mr Literal-Gitt has the I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues star in his sights.

"I've quite liked Mr John for a while, but I have unearthed some rather disturbing facts about his songs.

"For example, in Daniel, he claims he has a brother who's always pushing off to Spain, because it's the best place he's ever seen, apparently. Well guess what - Mr John doesn't have a brother!

"And I have no proof yet, but I bet he's never been an astronaut, as he claims in Rocket Man."

While Mr Literal-Gitt was investigating Elton's songs, he came up with another shock.

"Did you know that's not his real name? You could have knocked me down with a feather.

"Well I'm really going after him now - this kind of thing is really quite unnacceptable.

"I'm going to see if I can't get him for that spelling of 'all right' in Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting too. Everyone knows alright is all wrong!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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