Written by aydi
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Topics: Prince Charles

Saturday, 4 February 2012

A man who left school with no qualifications of worth and has hardly ever worked in his life, told Phillip Schofield on yesterday's "This Morning" show that he has a solution to cannibal food shortages.

Prince Charles felt he had to go on the show to reach out to "those common people" and spread a green message around the world.

What he suggested, he said he believed would benefit people in this country too. The Prince went on to say,

"Who's not been on a picnic and someone's scattered Uncle George upwind and he's landed on your pork pie? A little annoying don't you think?"

" One does believe in cremation, don't get One wrong but we should all recycle and that includes our ashes. Just think you'd be feeding a hungry baby headhunter"

His brainwave suggestion is the packaging of human ashes and then transporting them to hungry natives, where simply added to hot water results in an instant person in less than a minute. A nice little twist is the darker and more stagnant the water the darker the skin, the earthier the taste.

Or for those really hot days there's Eskimo flavour, just add to iced water, "a strong fish flavour with a seal fat undertone mixed with just a touch of global warming at the finish" it says so on the packet and the Prince wouldn't lie.

Charles has just negotiated first refusal on all the ashes from the funeral pyres beside the Ganges, a brand new addition to the ever widening choice of flavours available. The royal genius has described them as "tasting mildly of curry, then flowers with a hint of burnt furniture" a favourite of the tribes of Borneo's interior who awarded Charles a top rating of two monkey skins and three human torsos for his efforts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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