London - Decades of spoonfeeding a gullible public mountainloads of House of Windsor crap could come crashing down on Hellfire Club heads this Tuesday, astrologers warned today.
An exalted Sun/Mercury conjunction opposing the Leo Full Moon is compounded by Saturn, the zodiac's taskmaster, suddenly turning retrograde on the volatile Libra/Scorpio cusp.
In layman's parlance what this means is the unleashing of torrents of karmic payback on peddlers of self-sustaining royal gravytrain handout greed.
"The C of E's highly spurious Diamond Jubilee Prayer will turn past its natural shelf-life under such aspects," Illuminati astrologer Dame Horatia Poppycock tweeted as reams of 'Happy & Glorious 60-year Reign' garbage were posted on the Buckingham Palace webshite.
And somewhere under Blackfriars Bridge the ghost of Roberto 'God's Banker' Calvi cackled horribly in anticipation of HM His Lawfully Wedded joining him in everlasting torment.
Prince Philip is daft as a brush.