Spoof's weather expert, Just Winter, has shocked the world with a weather forecast which has got the Meteorological Office into a flat spin.
'There won't be much snow' said Winter 'it won't be much colder than it usually is at this time of year.'
Winter has received a cold shoulder from the media busy stoking up the fire under the fear of SNOW and COLD. Chief forecaster Florence Fright said 'I do not wish to panic anybody but my huge exposure on the media is in danger from Winter's idiotic prediction.'
Many local authority salt heaps are being prepared for the WEATHER ONSLAUGHT and already plans to cancel trains and close roads are well advanced.
Newshound Jeremiah Wolf complained that Just Winter was destroying his own position by not scaring the people out of their wits. 'His ridiculous adherence to the myth that this is just an average winter' he suggested 'has left Winter with mud on his face.'
But Winter has remained icy calm: 'If your job depends on scaring old ladies then you should jump in a lake - unless it is frozen over.'