Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 3 February 2012

image for Rumbled: Illuminati plot to conjure up Victoria Cross for Falklands wannabe William
Dammit, dammit, dammit! Foiled again!

London - An inevitable Hollywood blockbuster has also bombed as a plot by Palace Enlightened Ones upping Prince William to national hero-dom lies on the cutting room floor today.

The top secret scam alongside the Argentine military was to have magicked up a sudden escalation of a local Falkland Islands spat to a major incident 'like the Bay of Pigs'.

MoD smoke 'n' mirrors combined with House of Windsor sword 'n' sorcery was to have created a plausible scenario with the search and rescue pilot raking in the spoils of unimaginable bravery.

Now all that's in tatters after NATO scam busters found some swastika-themed Valentine's Day Y-fronts in an RAF locker believed to be William's.

"Whoever's micromanaging this mediocre young man's public image definitely needs a reality check," a NATO communique to Palace equerries confirmed this afternoon.

The Prince's six week tour of the sheep infested Islands will end before the arrival of HMS Dauntless which is being parachuted in to protect potentially lucrative South Atlantic oil and gas fields.

He'll then be deployed to HMP Belmarsh to await trial on unprecedented humbuggery charges.

Kate Middleton is partially deaf.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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