Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 2 February 2012

image for Furious catfight as Samantha Cameron and Sally Bercow both claim inspiration behind Commons' 'Top Totty' beer
Unfortunately the 'bunny ears' are missing from this particular publicity shot

London - Described on the handpump as 'a stunning blonde beer, full-bodied and voluptuous' the Strangers Bar guest ale is hardly an Ann (48GG-38-44) Widdecombe tribute tipple judging by the semi-naked Bunny Girl pic emblazoned on the tap.

Tonight in Westminster the fur was flying with the Commons' Top Totty beer at the heart of a huge punch-up between the Prime Minister's wife and the spouse of the House of Commons Speaker.

Apparently both women have claimed to be the inspiration behind the drink with Sally Bercow just having the edge over Samantha Cameron because of her fetching blonde locks.

But Cameron is having none of it and has insisted Bercow's true hair color is a 'dirty shade of mouse', enhanced at taxpayers' expense with lashings of peroxide.

Sally Bercow in turn has let it be known that although she's hardly full bodied or voluptuous with her beanpole 40-something body she is, nevertheless, the gal behind the amber nectar.

"When it comes to the term 'top totty' it has to be me," Sam Cam chuckled as mixologists poured over her aristocracy claims and other absurd links to the ruling class.

The spat intensified to a full-blown public slanging match when the two women both turned up at a Whitehall cocktail party to toast the stripping of Fred Goodwin's gong.

"Silly cow, that Bercow slag," someone claimed to overhear as the champagne flowed freely at the reception.

"Daft bitch's a flat chested, brunette gargoyle," a Bercow supporter retorted with glee.

The spat may now be consigned to hystery along with the beer as news broke around 7pm that the guest ale has now been banned after outraged feminists demanded its removal.

A close inspection of the 'bunny girl' image suggests it may, in fact, be Boris Johnson in drag.

A pint of Stella is still 56p.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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