London - Strict No Smoking, No Drugging, No Soliciting bylaws form crucial components of the Kensington Palace tenancy agreement covering poodle fakirs (sic) and their molls.
Last night a hooded, muffled figure was seen strolling in Kensington Gardens puffing on some highly pungent exotic herb and tugging at the lead of a four-legged friend.
"Pretty sure it was a canine," Park warden Reggie Fish told his supervisor this afternoon, "probably a hairless Shit-zu weighing around 196lbs."
Today the sighting was given the standard red top treatment amid an announcement that Nottingham Cottage tenants Kate and Wills have been given a present from the notorious Poodle Brothers Tony Blair and George W Bush.
"It's a hound dog...called Kate!" Daily Smearer editorial sources advised their readers early today.
"Nah, it's a castrated mongrel called Harry, heheh," the 'Usual Sauces' tweeted in reply.
Pets, of course, have been banned in all Kensington Palace apartments ever since Princess Diana was caught fondling a gorilla smuggled into her boudoir late one night in the boot of Paul Burrel's jalopy.
Pippa Middleton is still 69.