Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 1 February 2012

image for Kate Middleton seen 'walking the dog' near Kensington Palace
Who ya calling a dawg?

London - Strict No Smoking, No Drugging, No Soliciting bylaws form crucial components of the Kensington Palace tenancy agreement covering poodle fakirs (sic) and their molls.

Last night a hooded, muffled figure was seen strolling in Kensington Gardens puffing on some highly pungent exotic herb and tugging at the lead of a four-legged friend.

"Pretty sure it was a canine," Park warden Reggie Fish told his supervisor this afternoon, "probably a hairless Shit-zu weighing around 196lbs."

Today the sighting was given the standard red top treatment amid an announcement that Nottingham Cottage tenants Kate and Wills have been given a present from the notorious Poodle Brothers Tony Blair and George W Bush.

"It's a hound dog...called Kate!" Daily Smearer editorial sources advised their readers early today.

"Nah, it's a castrated mongrel called Harry, heheh," the 'Usual Sauces' tweeted in reply.

Pets, of course, have been banned in all Kensington Palace apartments ever since Princess Diana was caught fondling a gorilla smuggled into her boudoir late one night in the boot of Paul Burrel's jalopy.

Pippa Middleton is still 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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