Written by D Agnew
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Tuesday, 31 January 2012

image for Shock as Toddler wanders off from creche
A small child unrelated to the story

A four year old child wandered out of a town centre crèche today, sparking off a massive hunt.

The unnamed toddler was left in the care of KIDZ PLACE nursery and subsequently went missing between story time and snack time.

Unbelievably the toddler crossed two main roads wandered through a local park before finding his way through the lions enclosure in the zoo, then on to a military live fire range before catching the number 15 bus to the city, from there he boarded a plane to Beirut, stole a motorbike and then was found in a pub by a worried member of the public.

Police inspector Alfred Simmons said "This could of been a very serious incident if it was not for the intervention of a member of the public"

A spokesman for the crèche said "I can not understand how he got out of the cage we keep all the kids in, it must of been when I was putting a child in the 'show' area were the parents collect their children from"

The child's parents are understandably furious and are believed to be mounting a case against the crèche. The father stated:
"it aint right this, is it Tracey, nah it aint . Owt could of happened to him, one of those paediatrician's could of had him away and that."

A sign on the crèche door this morning stated "closed for de-lousing" scrawled in red crayon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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