The hugely popular London riots will be brought back in time for the Olympic games a senior organiser said today. It is hoped the new Riots will be the centre piece of the opening ceremony.
It really is a testament to the British peoples spirit that something so challenging can be organised so effectively, Imagine the Riots only x10, with the proper funding it will be spectacular. said a rather chuffed Boris Johnstone
Already sales of authentic Olympic hammers and Stanley knives are hitting the roof said a spokesman for the local football hooligans. We aim to amalgamate all the gangs and ne'er-do-wells for one massive orgy of looting and violence, we will really be showing the south Africans how its done. Obviously we will find it hard to compete with Chinas appalling human rights but im sure a quick tour of the sink hole estates will show the world that we can do poverty as good as any third world country.
Sponsors are being sought, so far JD sports and Tesco local have shown interest in having there windows smashed in and the shelves emptied in a frenzied orgy of destruction.
Mavis Septum 68 who lives next to the proposed arena seemed nonchalant about the whole thing
"As long as i can still get me paper and milk I'm not that bothered, although I may go and have a laugh at the para-olympians if its not on bingo night."