Written by D Agnew
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Monday, 30 January 2012

image for Con dems 50% reduction in ghost and spectre budget
A ghost yesterday

The coalition government today announced a severe reduction in the Ghost and spectre budget. A drop of nearly [strong£20.00 from last years budget of just over £41.00.
Speaking from His under ground lair, David Cameron confirmed the decision
"we have to be tough in these tough times" he told our reporter as he feasted on a baby.

The cuts spell disaster for some spooks who now say they will not be able to afford ecto-plasm or spooky chains.
One ghost who refused to be named, had this to say.
"does he know how much it costs to haunt this building" he said from outside his impressive derelict farmhouse
"last year i could just about scrape up enough for a threatening mist and some orbs, if the kids skipped a meal. Now I dunno what were gonna do"

Another spook the grey lady who allegedly killed her baby was nonplussed "once i have my initial outlay of my grey dress, i'm basically self sufficient" she said "all though i would like one of those haunted grand father clocks that absorb the souls of those who watch the pendulum" she added.

It remains to be seen what effect the cuts will have on the tourist industry which adds a massive 30 paptillion groats to the treasury a year.
"i don't suppose he has thought it through that far" offered a headless horseman.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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