Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Monday, 30 January 2012

image for Happy Monday? Don't Make Me Laugh, Says Local Grump
Happy? Don't make me laugh!

A local man has pooh-poohed the notion that today is the first happy day of the year.

Psychologists claim that today, Monday, January 30, is the first happy day of the year because most Britons have just had their first pay cheque and have also probably booked their summer holidays.

Dr David Holmes, of Manchester Metropolitan University, said: "We all go into work on Monday, January 30 with renewed vigour, buoyed by having money in the bank again and having one of the major family events of the year to look forward to."

"The man's a complete twat," said Norbert Spume, of Mafeking Terrace. "Where I work, the bastards don't pay us 'til the last day of the month.

"And what's so great about the summer holiday? Being dragged off to bloody Center Parcs with the kids and some bloody neighbours. And I've go the bloody in-laws staying - what's happy about that?

"What does he know? And Manchester Metropolitan University? What's that? A glorified poly. Don't make me laugh."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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