Written by queen mudder

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Sunday, 29 January 2012

image for Giant alien breast implant explodes over Bournemouth
Low-flying mammary-shaped UFO ejected a Borg Queen breast implant

Dorset - Bournemouth resident Steve Hornsby has had a lucky escape after a shower of gelatinous alien boob job filler splattered over his garden this weekend.

Globules of pale blue extraterrestrial gunk were seen carpet bombing his lawn during an ominous storm that turned the skies a weird pus color.

A neighbor who's seen the jelly-like blobs said a number of locals swear blind they'd witnessed a low-flying mammary-shaped UFO that ejected something from a proprietary blue ice porthole.

"Probably the Borg Queen herself, discarding a dodgy breast implant in one of her Top Gun flypasts," Arthur Bedbrush, 69, advised reporters from the Evening Argus, "before assimilating herself some new 40DD-cup stonkers."

Samples taken to a Dorset forensics lab have apparently proved negative for DNA or any other known earth substance.

Apart from horticultural water-retaining crystals - or hydrogels - often seen languishing at the bottom of hanging baskets after absorbing harmful pathogens from our heavily polluted atmosphere.
(WTF this? -Ed)

It could all go pear shaped on Groundhog Day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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