Just when a few sceptics had begun to doubt the existence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, as alleged by our former Prime Minister Tony Bare, they have been discovered nearby!
The truth, Tony revealed today on the steps of the Vatican where he had gone to become a Saint, is that the weapons were in Iraq but were smuggled by Saddam Hussein to Iran just before the search for them began. In fact the late Hussein, who had been found hiding in a hole, was just returning from taking the nuclear weapons to Iran through a tunnel only discovered recently.
The second part of the extraordinary Bare enterprise is that after calling for the bombing of Iran Tony had received news that when nuclear missiles were on the way to wipe out Iran's nuclear weapons (and Iran itself) the Iranians would launch weapons to wipe out Israel.
'This would solve the Palestine/Israeli problem at one few fell swoop' announced an excited Bare 'there would be a solution to that never ending headache as Palestine is near enough to Israel to be destroyed as well, even if slowly through the fall out from the nuclear explosions.'
The Pope has called Bare 'the nearest thing to Christ' adding that 'he even beats me'. The Saintly Bare has decided to now switch his attention to saving the Falkland Islands from Argentinian colonialists.