Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 26 January 2012

image for New Tarzan is a Balotelli fan!
New Tarzan alias Du Wit DuTw(o)it hopes Balotelli can bring his balls to the jungle, the round ones that is!

A Manchester man and ex body-builder who once worked at the local Co-op has turned his back on the bright lights (what?) of his home town and answered a call from the African bush.

He travelled to South Africa in a leopard skin leotard and skimpy pants and has now become the new self-proclaimed Tarzan. He spends his day riding on elephants, swinging from tree to tree, talking to his fav pet Chimpanzee, Cheetah, running with leopards and cheetah's, fighting with lions, getting "horny" with rhinoceros's and humping with hippo's, etc. Obviously filming everything as he goes. He then sends his filmed escapades to Hollywood and You Tube hoping that some idiot film director will discover his antics and find him a Jane, or a film role.

He's also admitted to being a Man City fan (plenty of cheetah's there too!) and down at the local Irish Pub (when not out in the wild) he watches them live and his fav player is self-confessed comedy ape, Balotelli!

Tarzan, better known as De Wet DuTw(o)it, hopes that super Mario will join him one day in the jungle because one of his ambitions was always to tame a giant, silver-back gorilla!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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