Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Baby, Rebekah Brooks

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

image for Bairns Night farrowing sees Rebekah Brooks become a Mom
You can be sure that with a name like Scarlett Holly she'll be a carrot-top

London - Scarlett Holly Mary Brooks weighed in at 6lbs 1oz at sunset on Burns Night at the Portland Clinic in London's West End.

The unnamed brood mare - er...surrogate mother! - delivered at 37 weeks to make Rebekah and racehorse trainer husband Charlie Brooks proud parents at last.

Coincidentally, a five year old hurdler called Scarlett Holly won the 2.30 bumper at Plumpton the day Young Miss Brooks was conceived ...in a test tube somewhere in Harley Street.

The proud parents are said to have put down their baby daughter's name for Marlborough College and the royal enclosure at Ascot racecourse.

Little Scarlett's mommy looked absolutely delighted this evening as she prepared to take the wee bairn home - despite the never-ending presence of the Damocleese (sic) sword hanging over her in the shape of a police investigation into corruption at her former alma mater News International.

The mother and baby unit at HMP Holloway has some world-class con-artists doing their bird.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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