Written by Backandtotheleft
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Monday, 23 January 2012

A student's night in Sheffield has got itself into hot water by having a poster advertising a student night being "too sexual".

The poster (which was unavailable for comment at the time) had a girl in hot pants and a speech bubble adorning it. The speech bubble itself was emanating from the girl in questions private area (vagina? That's girls right?) and it said "You're going to get laid." The poster was also advertising the fact that students could get each other drunk on £1.50 drinks and "fuck" on the dance floor.

A young lady who visits the club regularly said "The insinuation that girls from Sheffield needed copious amounts of alcohol to loosen their morals is sickening. Look just because I don't wear any knickers on a night out doesn't mean I wanner be finger banged on the dance floor to Rihanna." She spat as to emphasise the point.

Another native of Sheffield reckoned the poster was indicative of the Hollywood films of the time which objectify women as promiscuous sex objects. He said "The poster is indicative of the way Hollywood films objectify women into nothing but promiscuous sex objects."

The club (suggestively named "Bunga Bunga") said they wouldn't give interviews to "unaccredited members of the press" when approached. Their silence spoke volumes....of silence.

With cheap club nights and STI infections on the rise throughout the UK Back and to the Left news cannot help but wonder if a new and more deadly viral infection is just around the corner. A virus born from our sweaty, awkward drunken fumbles themselves like a 'clap Godzilla.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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