Written by Backandtotheleft
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Friday, 20 January 2012

The economic downturn has heralded an unexpected upturn (aren't opposites fun!) in another equally important area of our community.

Research from some overfunded government watchdog has shown air crashes (not involving birds or dudes with rocket packs) has increased, but deaths from these crashes have fallen.

A number of hypotheses have been sprouted off in tandem with these somewhat unexpected findings. Reasons put forward have included improved pilot training, divine intervention and more bouncy people. But a simpler more realistically realistic reason has been uncovered by Back and to the Left news. No-one can afford to fly on aircraft anymore. A source (bin man) who works for Virgin airlines said "Most flights take off with up to 85% of the passengers actually being cardboard cut outs of famous people".

That would explain why Tom Cruise was spotted simultaneously on five flights in one day. It would also make the headline we ran in one of our entertainment articles (Scientology Has Made Tom Cruise A All Powerful Warlock Who Can Transport Himself Through Space And Time) a little bit incorrect.

So in conclusion although everyone is currently so poor elderly relatives are being considered for the main course in Sunday dinner. No one is dying in air crashes.

This is a plus right?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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