London, UK; 17 February 2006 - (Rioters) Fears are growing in the corridors of power at Whitehall today that the Prime Minister's wife Cherry Bush QC may have become irreversibily brain damaged as a direct result of the Iraq war and is suffering from mental illness.
Persistent rumours about Mrs Blair's mental health took a turn for the worse this morning as it emerged that government psychiatrists had put her on a compulsory NHS trial involving the revolutionary psychosis medication Perceptin.
The controversial drug was recently in the news when it emerged that scores of Tory MPs who had voted with the Labour Government for war with Iraq in 2003 were also involved in the trial. British scientists at the National Poisons Unit reported that the treatment had been so staggeringly successful that many MPs were cured to the point of becoming so well as to have been able to vote in a new party leader in December 2005, a Mr David Come-On.
Meanwhile a spokesman for No 10 Downing Street refused to comment on press speculation that Mrs Blair was "one sick woman" suffering from delusions of grandeur and an infallible, almost messianic belief in her Opus Dei money laundering bank manager at the Bogota branch of the Riggs Bank.
However, Cherie's lifestyle guru Ms Carole Caplin has admitted in public for the first time that sales of the new schizophrenia medication Perceptin - a compound chemically derived from ground-up Poodle bollocks and distilled aromatherapy snake-oil - was being franchised on her personal website following a successful licence application to the Department of Health:
"Cherie hasn't exactly been sectioned under the 9/11 Mental Health Act amendment. But it may be fair to say that those chic and cutesy ankle-bracelets she is currently sporting with the London 2012 logo on them are actually electronically linked to a No 10 monitoring device whose main terminal is watched 24/7 by the Metropolitan Police Special Branch tagging unit at HMP Belmarsh."
It is hoped Mrs Blair will make a full recovery from her condition to the point of being unable to ever enter a plea of insanity in the event of being charged with treason along with her husband.