Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Gay

Thursday, 19 January 2012

image for "I Am Not A Cock Jockey!" Insists South Coast Burger Flipper
Quick! Sniff That Man's Bottom! It's A Real Man's Game!

Devon burger flipper, Colin Snatch reacted angrily to reports that he may be a closet cock jockey, following criticism of his self-published manifesto, 'I'm Not Really Gay - I Just Like Wrestling!'

Snatch, 49, the oldest burger flipper in Newton Abbot said that online reviews of his self penned tour de force had been disappointing, to say the least.

"People reviewing the book seemed to leave it with the impression that I'm some sort of closet gay chappie," he said. "Just because I like dressing up in uniforms and spending an extraordinarily long time in the changing rooms at the local swimming baths. That's just wrong. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm a raging homophobic. These people are probably men with very small cocks...and pert little buttocks. And queers as well. I hate queers. Mind you, Quentin down at the 24 hour garage is all right. And he wears earrings and stuff. Words fail me sometimes. Just because I like to parade around the house in stilettos and a blonde wig, people get the wrong idea.

"Me and my chums hate gays. Because they're...gay...or something. It's just stupid for people to assume I'm gay because I write explicitly descriptive passages about wrestling, or that I have a poster of David Beckham modelling underpants on my bedroom wall."

Neighbour, Cedric Hovisham said that Snatch's emphatic denials didn't convince him at all. Hovisham said that anybody who skips down the street wearing pink socks and jumping over puddles 'daintily', drinks in gay bars, and goes to the Sea Cadets can't possibly be 100% macho.

Even if they do think rugby is a real man's game.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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