To coincide with the upcoming mass hysteria for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Boatshow during June hence, 'Atlas Editions' that well known publishing house responsible for churning out endless crap collectables is 'launching' a new weekly magazine.
Entitled,"Hello Sailor" each edition will contain life size pieces of the new Royal Barge which, over the next 18 weeks or so will enable Royal enthusiasts-or maniacs-to construct a life size replica of the Royal Barge in their front rooms or outside toilets, whatever turns them on.
Due to the obvious size of each piece both magazine and 'free' part will be delivered by Pickfords with delivery charges built into the magazine cover price. Launching the first edition at the bargain price of 99p, it will contain full size blow-up replica dolls of, Liz, Wills, Kate, Chaz, the Ginger minger, Haribo and Phil the Greek, with ongoing copies retailing at £6,999.99 each, less in Tesco.
Each subsequent issue will also include a further 'bonus doll' including, Camilla, Ann, Andy (in safari suit), Edward, Eugenie and Beatrice in designer 'Bluefly' bikini's and countless other hangers on. This will all lead up to last, mega 'double issue' which will include a 'double bonus'. This greatly anticipated collectors copy will have a sultry talking Pippa doll in tight fitting low cut micro-mini dress, black stockings and black stiletto's plus a large box of Kleenex tissues for the over excited!
To date, Atlas Editions have been swamped with pre-orders and are praying that all the various parts arrive on schedule from China, Atlas CEO's are currently negotiating with Meryl Streep to do the Pippa voicebox but if unavailable Katie Price has offered her services and has promised not to talk dirty, unless Atlas up the retainer.