The European Court of Human Rights has ruled that Abu Qatada the suspected 'right hand man' of Osama bin Laden should not be deported in spite of the UK's attempts to see the back of him.
In their ruling the Court went further than many expected stating that Mr Qatada (he is to be referred to as 'Mr Qatada and not bin Laden's right hand man) is also entitled to his own cell (not that type of cell) with:
Sky 3D TV, a DFS sofa (on 4 years interest free), a weekly packet of those fairy cakes with the cream and icing on top, the monthly edition of Islamic Wives, quilted toilet role (even though he probably uses his hands) and a summer pass to watch the Olympics this year.
Qatada was seen laughing in the face of the British judicial system the other day looking like he had stuffed his bearded face with 40lbs of prime pork sausage. He said: 'I cant wait for Sky to show F1 this year on my 3D, 42 inch plasma.'
Many UK MP's have said this is going too far and have called for the UK to exit Europe; however, the Prime Minister David Cameron dismissed this idea saying: 'We will not leave the EU because we have just renewed our annual subscription at a cost of 234 billion pounds and I may need a job in a couple of years!'