London - An ex-lags self-help club has picked Prince William to be its official mouthpiece it was announced today.
The Royal Gravytrains Anonymous sinecure comes just days after Kate Middleton took on the patronage of the Snouts-in-the-Trough Association that creams off taxpayer millions promoting mediocrity.
The happy couple are following the successful New Labour Cash-4-Honors formula that rewarded IRA hitmen with cushy public purse handouts - albeit with a GlibDem/Tory Coalition twist in keeping with modern times.
Yesterday the couple received a massive boost to their egos when a London rag called them 'arguably the most famous couple in the world' after totting up their current haul of freebie rakeoffs.
These include a solid gold toilet from ex-Great Train robber Ronnie Biggs' blind truss portfolio manager, now a consultant to Cherie Blair.
Brinks-Matt bullion heist sources confirmed this lunchtime that the royal couple were indeed a 'national treasure' and would follow in the late Queen Mother's footsteps in cleaning out the heavy burden of House of Windsor bank accounts.
Fred 'The Shred' Goodwin is 69.