Written by justthefacts
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Wednesday, 18 January 2012

image for Paedophile found guilty... of being awesome!
A vital half of the sensational 'Kitty vs. Nonce'.

Today a convicted Devonshire paedophile, who has asked to remain anonymous, was recently labeled 'awesome' by a group of fans, who have been camping outside his house and filming his hilarious antics Jackass-style for the last 14 days. One 22 year-old man was quoted as saying 'I mean, fair enough he's a kiddie fiddler and all that, but come on! The way he trips over that cat is f*****g funny!'.

It is thought that the 71 year-old man in question is beginning to embrace his new found celebrity, and is quickly becoming a massive YouTube hit, with millions already subscribed to the channel in which his daily exploits feature. "He even spoke to me in person yesterday, and he didn't have a towel over his face" said one eager fan, probably underage. "I feel like he's a nice man who does good things and should be cut a bit of slack."

Meanwhile, a paediatrician has been violently attacked by a group of unknown persons after a misunderstanding which has led to several broken bones and permanent brain damage. Police suspect the attackers wrongly identified him as the aforementioned anonymous YouTube sensation.

Regardless, the man's latest video, featuring him exiting his house before several hilarious pratfalls, is quickly becoming the most-circulated attachment on the viral video circuit, already being featured in an estimated 20,000 FWD e-mails. "He's the Norman Wisdom of nonces!" say his fans, but the question on everyone's lips is surely 'Just what will he do next?'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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