Written by PaulT
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Topics: TV, BBC, Morph, Bargain Hunt

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

It is believed that the BBC scrapped and re-wrote entire television series after spelling errors in titles released to the press at the time caused embarrassment to senior management.

Amongst these were 'Morph' a loveable plasticine man from the 1970's and 80's, who 'cooooooed' at pictures sent in by 6 year olds and did little drawings.

The original series should have been called 'Murph', about a stereotypical Irish drunk, albeit a plasticine one, who would drink plasticine Guinness from plasticine bottles, before vomiting plasticine puke everywhere. Of course this was never shown.

Perhaps more revealing is that 'Bargain Hunt' should have been named 'Bargain C*nt', with David Dickinson going from town to town with £100 each week in order to get as much sex, kisses and other deviant stuff as possible in one twenty-four hour period.

A pilot episode from Blackburn, Lancashire, which included two bouts of full sex (albeit brief), two kisses and a sensual massage was never shown as someone at the BBC typed the letter 'H' instead of 'C' when releasing the show details to the press. As a result we got years and years of less interesting television featuring fake Victorian vases and ornamental brass coal shovels.

When approached, a BBC employee told me "I juz rasse the barria intu tha car pak mista, I onli bean een England 11 weeks and I dunno what you is talkin abat but cud you move ur car as you blockin Terry Wogans chaffuer'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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