Written by Joe Leff
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Tuesday, 17 January 2012

In the run-up to the Man Booker Awards for fiction, Oimah Litlun has failed once again to make it on to the short list.

At 3 feet 2 inches, Oimah Litlun is Ireland's shortest writer - although he has always been a big name on the Irish literature scene. His speciality is short stories and micro-fiction, which his many fans find 'very readable'.

"I've never been one to use big words," said Litlun, "although one of my early books did have some long sentences," he admitted.

"I've always loved reading - especially short stories. But I also like big books - which I use to stand on when I'm combing my hair in the bathroom."

Oimar Litlun used to spend 8 hours a day penning stories. But since he became famous his writing time has shrunk. These days he gets frequent requests for media interviews - usually at short notice.

Was he disappointed at yet again failing to make the short list?

"Yes. I'm a bit down - but my big day will come soon. I'm gonna get down to some serious writing - and stretch myself a bit next time. In this game you've gotta aim high. I just need another step up - on my way to fame."

So Litlun's next book will be a full-length novel, which he hopes will stick out above the crowd of contenders.

"The Man Booker Prize is not out of reach - especially if they put it on a coffee table, rather than on a posh pedestal. If I win that prize, I'm gonna jump for joy - and see if I can get my face in the photos this time."

Has Oimah Litlun any advice for young aspiring short writers? "Yes. Start early, use a high-chair - and your writing will just grow on you."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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