Part time Prime Minister Dave Cameroon has told how he and his sexually wanton wife Sam keep their romance alive with weekly date nights.
The part time PM said that despite his busy schedule of globe trotting and escort girl sampling , he and Sam still found time to 'get it on' so to speak.
Dave went on to say: "We have one night a week where we either stay in and I try to get an erection-Viagra notwithstanding-or Sam gets her bag of Ann Summers 'toys' out and we play musical vibrators.
Unfortunately with all this globe trotting, one feckin' crisis after another, Nick Clegg screwing things up and escort sampling I'm literally shagged out these days and getting a touch of the old ED!"
The otherwise romantic part time PM still remembers every minute of his wedding and honeymoon night of June 1996 when he took Sam down the 'aisle' and they were like insatiable rabbits on heat..until they were both thrown out and banned from the 24 hour Tesco Store in Weybridge!
"I can remember 'devouring' Sam in the cold produce department as she went crazy over the three for £10 deal at the end of aisle 4" said Dave, "god she came off like a rocket, it was brilliant!"
Meanwhile, Sam has secretly revealed that she now refers to her husband as 'Do-nothing-Dave' and relies more and more on both Ann Summer products and the fortnighly visits from her virile Polish window cleaner, Antonovich Kobblerinsy.