Atheist fundamentalist and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins and his loopy crones are celebrating following a new ruling that will prevent any questioning of the religion of evolution to the poor children in our schools.
The Department for indoctrination has changed its bribing agreement, meaning that the 'education' secretary can steal cash from schools that fail to meet strict criteria relating to what they teach.
Under the new dictatorship, funding will be stolen for any free school that teaches what it claims are "evidence-based views or theories" that run "contrary to established scientific and/or historical evidence and explanations". In laymans terms, accept what they decide is true else we shut you down. For example if years ago geocentrism was accepted as true, which it was, then teaching the heliocentric model would have meant school closure. In a nutshell, evolution is to be taught, and now the production line of indoctrinated children will be forced into believing a nonsense, else they are shut down.
Despite any empirical scientific evidence whatsoever that man is a relative of monkeys, this nonsense is blindly accepted as fact. This is ironic as only last month, Dawkins was promoting a cash giveaway for anyone who could guess a materialistic explanation for the origin of life. And that is classed as science?
Unfortunately written as a spoof, this is a true reflection of current real news.
Dawkins was unavailable for comment as he is currently devising humiliating tasks for the inmates of the Celebrity Big Brother house.
We tried to contact David Attenborough but he was filming the latest BBC mockumentary "Walking with man eating lions in the wild" at Chester Zoo.