Written by Deafo
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Monday, 16 January 2012

Evel Knievel, the former stunt racing driver, is now responsible for DirectGov's 'Think' road safety campaign, as part of government plans to hive off key departmental responsibilities to those who haven't the first clue about their area of assigned jurisdiction.

The move follows news the London mayor, Boris Johnson has been made responsible for the Metropolitan Police's priorities and performance under a new government scheme.

Evel Knievel admitted he was surprised to learn of his appointment as he had always considered himself to seatbelts what roadkill is to a vegetarian.

The former stuntman effused, 'Of course I feel honoured to be awarded such a prestigious role in preserving the wellbeing of the many millions of drivers in the UK.'

'Despite the fact that the last thing people across the globe associate me with is due care and attention, shouldn't necessarily be seen as an inhibiting quality.'

'Just like associating Boris Johnson with determining Met Police policy shouldn't persuade Londoners to now break the law just because it may have divised on the say so of a hapless buffoon.'

A Number 10 spokesperson, Sheila Mount, revealed other areas of expertise the Coalition were considering siphoning off to other unlikely candidates.

'Well we have Sir Mick Jagger fronting our Safe Sex campaign which is a real coo for us given his apparent disease free status.'

'But most impressive of all, we feel, is the decision to award the new position of Drug Tsar to the Right Honurable, Howard Marks.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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