Buckingham Palace has been overwhelmed at the generosity of the British people in subscribing to a fund to enable the Nation to purchase the 'Costa Concordia' from the Italian people for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.
The only proviso is that the liner's present Captain maintains his job.
'Costa Concordia' will be docking at Southampton 'in the near future' said a representative of the cruise liner firm who have agreed a mere £60 million for the vessel.
Michael Gove, taking time off from organising the regime's crackdown on dissident teachers, has hailed the move as 'a wonderful example of how much we value our monarchy. This is sure to bring popularity to the Government.'
Protests by paraplegic Olympic hopes who have had their benefits cut to pay for the Ocean liner have been described by the Sun as 'the whines of the weak' and they went on to praise Michael Gove and put him forward as a future Prime Minister.
Anyone wishing to support the costs of repairing and running the 'Coasta Concordia' should remember the words of an Italian who warned it would 'costa lotta'.
Margaret Thatcher has declared that 'Where there is strife, we bring you Concordia'