Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 15 January 2012

image for Stricken Mars probe Phobos-Grunt 'stalking Marianne Faithfull'
Yum! A close-up of that notorious 1967 shot

London - She has always vehemently denied being caught in flagrente with Mick Jagger in an alleged Mars Bar incident.

This weekend Marianne's holed up in her leafy Chelsea pad as reports of the Phobos-Grunt's erotic - er...erratic! - orbit suggest an imminent crash landing somewhere on Earth.

"Wherever it impacts there's bound to be a huge bang," an astrophysics specialist commented today.

"Maybe they should have called it the Mars speculum," former Rolling Stoned reporter Baz Falaha twittered by return.

In any event the probe's eleven tonne toxic fuel payload is being tracked by worried NASA boffins amid fears of massive likely devastation.

Meanwhile online bookies Aintgottaprayer.con is offering attractive odds on the stricken craft's eventual crash landing site; the bookies' 'tissue' goes 6/4fav on Ecuador's pestilent indigenous Amazonian rain forest tribes, 2/1 on The Kremlin, 4/1 on Nick Clegg's London home and 5/1 on Alex Salmond's car.

Keith Richards is 104.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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