Written by Inchcock
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Thursday, 12 January 2012

image for Riot at Nottingham's Parliament Street Jobcentre Plus!
At the head of the queue until the Army arrived

There was panic in Nottingham city centre this morning, when it was mistakenly published in the 'Free paper', that the Jobcentre Plus on Parliament Street had got 333 new jobs just come in, in error for 3 new jobs.

As soon as the crowd rushed the centre, police were on the scene - unfortunately with the Government cut-backs, the Nottingham force being reduced by 285 officers, most of them were tazering, and truncheoning their way through the mob to get first in the queue!

As the injuries piled up, Paramedics and Ambulance-men (Government cutbacks 150) who attended, joined in the battle for attention from the overwhelmed Jobcentre Plus staff.

Nottingham Chief Constable Chief Constable Julia Hodson, was forced to call in the Army for support (5000+ Government personnel cut-backs). Who started to shoot the mob of jobseeking citizens, policemen, and medical staff, to get through to the front of the queue.

The incident came to a sudden halt when the first floor of the building collapsed under the weight of the fighting crowds.

The Fire Brigade could not attend straight away, due to another incident they were tackling, and with the Government cut-backs they had not got sufficient staff to respond immediately.

The Red Cross, St Johns Ambulance, Boys Brigade and Scout first aid badge holders took hours to sort out the living dead and injured, but heroically did so, despite being hounded by Big Issue sellers whilst trying to rescue people.

There is now some jobs coming in for the building industry trade, but only at the Parliament St branch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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