Written by MonkeyInTheBath
Print this

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

image for High speed rail line only 30 years away
An artist's impression of what the planned train line might look like in 2050

The UK Government has today announced that a planned high speed train line between London and Birmingham will get the go ahead and will progress to the next stage in the planning process - the legal challenges.

PM David Cameron said, "I can proudly announce that this planned engineering work and all aspects of its construction can now be contested in court. We can all look forward to Britain leading the world in procrastination, bureaucracy and red tape for the next 30 years. I will personally guarantee that during that time, not one mile of actual track will be built, but every inch of the planned route will be scrutinised in excruciating detail."

The PM attacked countries like China who often went ahead with large construction works without thoroughly following up all possible legal challenges or even filling in a planning permission form. He stressed that it was a basic human right to be able to complain loudly and for a tediously long time against having anything built within a 10 mile radius of one's home.

Critics of the planned legal action have said that the next government will probably scrap the project anyway.

Retired trainspotting music svengali Pete Waterman, who has campaigned for the train line for years, disagreed. He said, "The locomotion. I wouldn't change a thing. Especially for you. I should be so lucky. Never gonna give you up."

Make MonkeyInTheBath's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 1?

7 8 3 17
37 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more