Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Kate Middleton

Sunday, 8 January 2012

image for The 'Miss Havisham's Curtains' look for daft Kate at Spielberg premiere
Frightfully sharia-compliant, to boot

London - Togged out in classic psychotic dowager mode tonight her $5,000 designer gown looked cobbled together as if for some sadass mortuary fête.

A whiteish under-dress of clinging, swooshy material made the dark outer lace dress seem like some sort of suburban housewife's negligee.

But it was the frigid body language between the couple that caused most attention as the rain came down from the heavens and ruined Kate's blow-dried locks.

"Apart from the slightly plunging décolleté neckline the dress was frightfully er, sharia-compliant, wouldn't you say?" a reporter from FrokHorra! magazine commented tonight.

Another, from Women Swear Daily demanded to know if the seamstress who created it had got some sort of austerity job lot from set designers in the forthcoming BBC TV drama Great Expectations.

Miss Havisham, the aged anti-hero of the Dickens drama, is traditionally portrayed in such similar apparel.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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