Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 7 January 2012

image for A Cancer Full Moon for Kate Middleton's '30th' on Monday
She's got a dose of the mumps in this picture

London - Notable portents so far include the ex-Royal Yacht Britannia sinking in Scotland, Jamaica dumping Queen Elizabeth as head of state and a young woman's body discovered on the Sandringham estate.

On Monday Kate Middleton will put all this behind her as she celebrates her reported '30th' birthday - reckoned by plastic surgeons to have actually occurred a good five years ago.

"Kate's almost certainly an heirhead Gemini," Dame Stella Aardvark, editor of Royal Karmic Times commented, "and she's pulled off the fastest ever fast one since the faked coronation of 1953."

In itself Monday's Cancer Full Moon is not that inauspicious but points to a massive black hole imploding in the House of Windsor's geriatric division.

"It straddles the cosmos on the zodiac's equivalent of a Guatemalan sinkhole," Dame Stella added, "slap bang in the middle of Queen Elizabeth's personal descendant, the Death Star Necrofilia."

Expect something drastic to probably occur as the Middleton royal bubble finally pops.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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