Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Wednesday, 4 January 2012

image for Cockneys tell more porkies than Scousers and Taffies
" I gave her one behind Windsor Castle"

Cockneys tell more lies than Scousers or Taffies, according to a local survey.

The Londoners score an average of seven porkies a day, with Scousers achieving five and the hapless Taffies managing only four little fibs.

Both the Cockneys polled in a boozer last night claimed to have told quality whoppers about their decent social life and their business scams within the last 24 hours.

"I told mates that my missus was like a cheap sofa, and that i had 0% interest for the first year and dumped her in a pond when she started to look old and tired", boasted unemployed Terry Snide.

"I also lied about noshing the grumble of a Latvian lapdancer after drinking Dom Perignon in a Turkish bath. But it got back to her indoors and now the old woman has given me the Spanish Archer", said Snide.

Terry's cousin, Billy Pikey, also took part in the survey and admitted that his 'Cockney for Toddlers' business venture was a non starter and had given him the right hump.

"I told the no mark ponces there was only a few places left and that they should book lessons now if they wanted to avoid their kids sounding like proper mugs when they started school. It would only have cost the spanners an Ayrton, but i didn't get a single punter and am now totally boracic", claimed Pikey.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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