Written by Joe Leff
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Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Dover was closed yesterday as emergency services tried to rescue nearly 40 huge loan sharks left stranded on the beach after massive downfalls in the U.K. economy.

Many of them had been over-whelmed with high-interest credit and were unable to cope with the massive amounts of money owed to them.

At this time of the year, during hard times loan sharks typically roll loans over, adding interest on interest. They normally feed on thousands of poor debtors, but many of these have disappeared in a disastrous debt spiral.

The Dover Straits were littered with overdrafts and credit cards.

Hundreds of onlookers were watching locals braving penalty charges and going into the red to pacify the sharks. The Wildlife Trust is organizing a collection of secure bank accounts and large safes to help the sharks cope with all the accrued interest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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